Dinner Forks and Possibly Strange Behavior

So I had a very lengthy discussion this afternoon with my good friend Lauren in Detroit today... a discussion came up about a quiet lunch I had on my birthday.

I purposely took a late lunch that day so that I could enjoy a nice quiet meal along the St. John water front... Some may classify this behavior as strange, I just wanted to avoid crowds.

Anyhoo... I sit down place my order and start my meal with a salad.

I look down at the table setting and I notice that the salad fork is unusually small. By admission, my physical build is similar to Grape Ape, so maybe the fork wasn't all that small. I have salad forks here at home that are a lot bigger tho'. But I digress...

I opt to use the dinner fork and the salad went down fine.

The waitress stopped by a little later and asked if I needed a refill... Maybe I'm crazy but, I felt a strange need to point out that the salad fork was unusually small. She didn't particularly pay much attention to me I think. She poured the refill, nodded and said my meal would be out shortly.

For lunch, I ordered a shrimp and asparagus stir-fry that came on a bed of rice. (which was delish) I sat back enjoyed the meal... until it occurred to me that I didn't use anything but my dinner fork for lunch.

I honestly can't explain why I did this... but I picked up a perfectly clean knife and I got it a little dirty so that It appeared that I didn't only eat with my fork.

Lauren insists that this behavior is that of a madman. I think she said "monster" actually...

I think it was sorta justified... anyhoo, it's been eating away at me all fucking day.

.aCr.