Every now and again I go through my computer and try to archive stuff I submitted to zines earlier in the decade. Ran across a story I submitted about my visit to the Motor City Comic Con.
Enjoy.
Circa 2003
Comic Convention People
By Rollie Agado
It's that time of year again, the Motor City Comic Con and it looks like
yours truly will be in attendance for the third straight year. I don't
know what draw the comic con has over me... I seem to always learn a
little more about people and the world I live in when I attend these
things. The people who attend these things fall into all the cartoon
trappings we associate with adults who still read comics. As much as I
don't like generalizations, I find that it's a sure fire way to spur
conversation.
I'm of the opinion, that people who attend Comic Book Conventions fall
into two specific camps - then filter into 4 distinct categories. (Mind
you... I've only been to 2 of these in my lifetime). The 2 Camps simply
put... people are either “Bathers” or “Un-bathers”. The “Un-bathers”, as
you could imagine, are the most unpleasant of the bunch. They however give
the gathering a much-needed sense of "credibility". While I try to keep
myself at a safe distance from these people... I'd be lying if I said I
didn’t want to encounter the scent of "dustiness" every 45 minutes or so.
For me it makes the experience all the more real. Especially in the car
ride home when we extend our sleeves out to each other to share the
potency of a “Un-Bather” we purposely bushed up against. (It's kinda like
capturing elusive moss in a jungle). Yea... I'll leave it there.
The 4 Categories
1. The Button Downers - These guys are my favorite of the bunch. They
rarely say a word out loud, but you can tell what they are thinking by
looking at their facial expressions. These guys are incredibly put off by
large crowds and go out of their way to attend the comic convention at off
peak times. I haven't really picked up on their shopping habits. These
guys have come across in recent years as being well read. I usually scout
them picking up odd items and seem to pawn themselves off as appraisers at
these events. That's not to say that they won't purchase something! Unlike
the other attendees, they haven't spent the year saving up for the comic
con to splurge on “must have” items.
2. The Slobs - These guys are unapologetically nasty. They come in all
shapes, sizes and ages. Not only do they know it all... they're kind
enough to remind you. Deep down inside I think that everyone would like to
hold these things privately so that the Slobs couldn't attend...but
they're the driving force behind all of the purchases. I can safely say
that they contribute to 80% of the sales at these things. What's important
to note here... is the “Code of Cool”. I've never seen anyone go to these
things to buy the first issue of The Hulk. I think everyone kinda walks
around with that "Oh you don't own that already" musk, hanging off of
their bodies. Much, like record collectors do. I can't tell you how many
times I've passed on purchasing a record in person because I feared what
the clerk at the counter may think. That's what makes the Comic Con so
cool. Everyone knows that they can't peddle stuff people don't have, but
can't buy in public. So they cater to the "sweet tooth" of all parties.
Besides comic books there's also independent graphic artists (indie comics
really... I find their art to be really good. They take time in selecting
interesting paper stock and printing techniques – stories are usually bad
though), magazine collectors (everything from early issues of Rolling
Stone/Cream - to Playboy), book collectors (typically Sci-Fi, but their
collections are very impressive), films & film posters (just about
everything you could imagine... horror, classics, cartoons from the 70's
and 80's - all transferred properly to DVD. I find myself combing over
these things very carefully. I rarely buy anything though) Toys, water
pipes, WEAPONS! (Think Lord of the Rings stuff), etc. – I could go on and
on.
Where was I?
Oh yea... 4 categories.
3. The Regalia Clan - Many will tell you that these people come dressed up
for the costume contest. The costume contest is however held Saturday at
1:00PM, so it wouldn't explain why people come to all three days (which I
don't do by the way) dressed up as their favorite characters. This is
where I get a lot of my “dopey” lumps for guessing out loud the wrong
characters they're trying to portray. I'd say that 75% of the folk who
dress up come as bizarre Anime characters. Much to my surprise, people
will try their hardest to attend as a character they're most likely to
pull off, rather than a character they champion. This I applaud them for.
Who needs a chubby FLASH hanging around?
I'd only wish that they were more approachable though. It's very hard to
break them out of character. I've asked several of them questions before
and they've replied by whelping out a catch phrase, to which I respond
with a look of befuddlement. They then think that I'm unimpressed and
needless to say we end up getting off on the wrong foot.
4. "Oh, I'm with my friend" - This is the group that I'm apart of...sadly,
we're in the minority of these things. We're somewhat easy to spot because
we kinda shuffle along asking far too many questions. Knowing that this is
the "Super Bowl" of comic-geekery, we kinda congregate around the indie
artists. For some reason, the Slobs, the Button Downers and the Regalia
Clan - avoid these people. I mean…they make their way around their tables,
but for the most part they seem uninterested. This is where I make a
majority of my friends. Disinterested boyfriends and girlfriend’s hangout
by the empty chairs, tying to figure out from afar who the celebrity
guests are and comment out loud on how badly they've let themselves go.
Last year we were lucky... we got Billy D. Williams to come out. I forget
how much he charged for a signature, but it didn't matter. His publicist
assured me he wouldn't sign a 40oz of Colt 45 for me. Can you believe
that? The guy who flew the Millennium Falcon is too good to sign my bottle
of beer (”rolls eyes”). This year, my favorite Charlie's Angel - Kate
Jackson, is slated to make a celebrity appearance! As always, they posted
photos of their headshots - circa ‘76. Who knows what they'll look like
this weekend. Margot Kidder, who played "Louis" in Superman I - IV, is
also scheduled to be there. Sprinkle in a former WWF wrestler and that
just about rounds out the experience.
Yours,
Motor City Rollie
