The Controler That Jumped the Shark

I couldn't possibly begin to describe my excitement of the Nintendo Revolution prior to September 16, 2005. A few months ago, Nintendo released photos of the Nintendo Revolution (the 5th platform from Nintendo, replacing the Gamecube) at E3 with the promise of releasing information about their next-gen controller at a later date.

It was reported then that Nintendo wanted to be very secretive about the look & abilities of the Revolution controller because other consoles look to ape their ideas.

The second bit of information was that the console was going to have the ability to download & play any game in the history of Nintendo. This was an amazing bit of news, because unlike the other consoles, Nintendo has a stable of FABULOUS games.

In 1985 the NES debuted and my parent's were cool enough to get me one for Christmas. This was quite possibly the best reason that I ever stayed up until Midnight to receive something.

The machine was nothing short of "perfect". It had an incredible color scheme, futuristic design, 2 breathtakingly simple buttons on the front of it: Power & Reset

The machine simply shat on everything around it from an indefinable hight.

And it wasn't only the console that eclipsed everything that I had ever encountered... it was the controllers that simply set it apart from anything I had ever laid hands on. Resembling very closely to the form factor of the NES, the two button controller was year zero for console controls. Was it perfect? Absolutely not... It had very sharp corners and this was problematic when thrashing it down onto the carpet and having it come flying back at your head. The cords that accompanied it were impossibly thick. I can't tell you how many hours I spent trying to wind the cord perfectly around its rectangle head before putting it away.

But despite these shortcommings, I never set out to replace it with the inferior NES Advantage. A shitty device that only aided those who needed the benefits of a Slow and Turbo button to defeat obstacles in games they couldn't normally finish.
Nothing was more upsetting that playing against someone who hid behind the need to play with a joystick that mimicked the feel of an Arcade layout. When it was all said and done, it was the Turbo and Slow buttons they were after.

But I digress. The system benefited from having an amazing set of games. Super Mario Bros. (1, 2 & 3,) Zelda I & II, Final Fantasy I, II, III, Megaman, Metroid, Adventure Island.... the list goes on and on.

All I could do the very moment that the Revolution could play its entire back catalog, was think about what games I wanted to download the very evening I brought it home.

RC Pro-Am, Megaman II, Contra!!!

Contra gave us the "Konami code" An intricate sequence of button entries for (up,up,down,down,left,right,left,rightb,a,start) that set apart those in the know from those who are undeserving to get it.

Which got me thinking again about the controller. How would Nintendo develop a controller that would cover every console that they've ever released?

As cool as the NES controller was, the following system SNES (Super Nintendo) had a controller that completely trumped its predecessor . Upping the ante to Six buttons, games on the SNES could do things that were just unimaginable. The form factor couldn't have been better. The familiar grey casing had a dash of periwinkle and purple. Which in retrospect looks a bit silly, but it may arguably be the finest controller they've ever made.

The following controller (for the Nintendo 64) showcased (IMHO) the second time Nintendo got a controller wrong. The first time honor goes to the Power Glove. A mishap that I think many want to forget about.... the Power Glove was a nightmare to configure (with silly pieces of plastic that Nintendo wanted you to velcro onto your Television set so that you could get the Glove to be recognized by NES. While the N64 was a little hard on the eyes... Nintendo developed incredible games around the controller. The N64 benefits from having 7 buttons. The coolest of the 7 was button "Z" on the center grip. It's the button layout that made Mario Kart 64, Golden Eye, Mario 64, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, all rock veracious wang!

So much so that the N64 is my second favorite controller behind the SNES one.

Then there was the Gamecube.... the Gamecube controller, never appealed to me. I think it will go down as the most forgettable controller to date. While many of the games benefit from single button action... it makes the system feel regressive. Which is really unfair to the Gamecube, because game development has never been better at Nintendo. The layout however is just simply rank. Weighing in at 8 push buttons (one directional push "C") the control is equally over and underwhelming.





Which brings us to the morning of September 16th, 2005. The day that will go down in history as being the Nintendo controller that jumped the shark. There isn't words to describe the horrifying disappointment and shock I felt this morning. The controller is rumored to work like a mouse, except that it works in a three dimensional space. Sensors are reported to be inside the controller to interpret pitch and yaw.

The remote control/directional pad... um device? Has a large Gamecube inspired "A" button below the directional pad with a button "B" directly below it, acting much like the trigger button did for the N64 controller. Below that mess is a row of three small buttons: Start, Home, and Select.

Near the bottom end of the controller are two additional buttons labeled a and b. Which means one could could turn the controller 90 degrees to rock out some serious NES games, but it doesn't say much for SNES, N64 and Gamecube games now... does it?

I read word this afternoon, that more controllers are to surface. Specifically multi button ones. Something I'm desperately hoping for. How in the hell am I supposed to get my Madden on with a numchuck device?

Can anyone ever recall a system launching where 3rd party controllers would be gladly welcomed? Some may say the original X-Box controllers were shitty enough, to get 3rd party apps pretty geared up for aftermarket.... but they're not nearly as bad as this one.

Going into 2006, I saw myself as a 2 console home. I would be getting a Revolution and PS3 at a later date.... announcement of todays control setting just assured me of getting a PS3 (regardless of the cost) on release day.

.mCr.